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Finally, don’t just pack your bags, load up the kids, and drive away in a car that needs four new tires. The three most important words during divorce are: document, document, document.Before you separate, buy the clothes you’ll need, perform maintenance on the car, and fix the kids’ teeth. Try to obtain copies of all financial records before your divorce begins.Inventory safe deposit boxes; track down bank and brokerage accounts; review pay stubs, retirement plans, and insurance policies. Don’t ignore the hidden tax costs of divorce in making these decisions.
During divorce, many women are concerned about financial survival—and with good reason.Remember: there’s nothing like new knowledge and a fulfilling career to bolster your self-esteem. Engage a forensic accountant if you think there might be hidden assets. Hire a divorce financial professional to help determine the best settlement options for you.Don’t skimp now on matters that will affect the rest of your life.View your attorney as a paid professional rather than a friend or confidante. Women tend to be supportive and sensitive to the needs of others, to build bridges, and to “make nice.” These tendencies often get in our way during divorce. You have to insist on getting what you need and deserve. If you don’t, you’ll still be able to take care of yourself financially. Use this time of upheaval to start taking control of your life.When your grief is overwhelming, go home or to a friend’s house, not to your attorney, who is billing you at his normal hourly rate. Even if you hope that you will eventually be able to reconcile with your ex, don’t bend over backwards to make it happen. Vow never to worry in the dark—if you can’t sleep, turn on the light, pick up a pencil and paper, and write down your worries.
These assets will remain yours as long as you can document them. Don’t overlook any assets—half of everything is yours!